Faulty Wiring

"I love you & don't have time to think of something creative." :)

Do you know someone who feels the need to ALWAYS fill the air with conversation? It’s like…if there is any silence, they feel it is their duty to make sure that they speak up; almost as if the world will come to an abrupt end if they can’t throw their 2 cents in.  Why is it so hard for us to sit in silence sometimes? I have so many buddy’s who complain about their wife, and how from the time they get home from the office to the time they go to bed it’s constant chatter.

I cracked my wife up one time because she overheard a call between me and my best friend from grade school. I said maybe 10 words (mostly "uh huh" and "seriously!", and the call lasted less than 3 minutes. When I hung up she asked me "what was going on?" I said “Blake and his wife are pregnant...” She had so many questions (none of which I could answer) about the details (none of which I could answer). She asked things like, “How far along is she,” “How is she feeling,” “Does she think it’s a boy or a girl,” and on and on and on. What so many women have a hard time understanding is that men just aren't wired that way. Now don’t get me wrong…I know I have been preaching about communication, and how important that is. And I FIRMLY stand by that. However, there are certain times when we just need some room...

A common myth out there is that Women speak around 2,000 words more per day then men. FALSE! There have been countless studies that prove that  Men AND women speak on average 16,000 words per day. EQUALLY! The difference is…Your husband probably doesn’t want to talk about the same things you want to talk about. Quick example: You ask your husband “How was your day to day?” when you he walks in the door, and typically your going to get, at most, “It was fine,” or “I’ve had better”… Now, take that same husband and ask him, “So…how good of a chance does insert hubby’s favorite sports team here have to win the championship this season?” And watch him sling out a couple thousand words in 15 mins. So why is it that sometimes your man seems so closed off?

If you husband seems like he doesn’t talk as much as he used to here are the top reasons:

1.       HE IS JUST TIRED…give him some room and let him breath.

2.       It honestly hasn’t crossed his mind that what you are trying to talk to him about is important…take a minute to tell him you love him, but you need his attention. He will understand. That’s how we communicate!

3.       He is embarrassed…believe it or not guy’s are sometimes embarrassed to talk about certain things. Especially if you are trying to revisit an area where he let you down…give him some time. It might even be better to write him a letter, and ask him to respond to you in writing as well

4.       He is tired of talking about the same thing…men have VERY short attention spans. If you are continually talking about the same thing over and over again he is going to be bored with the conversation. Guy’s HATE to repeat themselves.

5.       He can’t relate to your conversation…if your man’s eyes are glazed over while you are speaking to him chances he just isn’t interested in what you are talking about. It’s nothing against you so don’t be so sensitive!

So if you find yourself in a situation where you are asking yourself “why doesn’t my husband talk to me the way he used to?” you may want to consider sitting back, and just keeping quiet. Let him have some room from time to time. And remember…if you can’t find anything creative to say…there is no need to fill the air with meaningless words. Forced conversation leads to insincere dialog…stay on point!